Superwoman???

A friend of mine refered to me as Superwoman... I'm not so sure I agree. Dave's cancer has really thrown a wrench in things. This weekend, on Saturday, he had a bit of a fever. We took him in and good thing we did. He has an infection and has been in the hospital ever since. His white blood count is ZERO and they don't know whats wrong yet.

On top of that, just before he went in, we got a call saying our foster care license was finally approved! In that call they also asked us to take a 22 month old little boy. After some discussion, we decided to do it. So now I am like a single mom of three. We didn't expect Dave to be in the hopsital but so far, I am doing well. Maybe I am just so busy that my mind isn't on anything to do with the C word. Our foster son is doing very well though! He is adjusting well and taking to the monkies quiet well.

I don't know... Superwoman? I think not. I am copeing, I am managing, I am living my life and holding myself together.... mostly... I seem to cry at the drop of a hat. Today when we got to school (for Little Miss) I realized that we had forgotten her backpack and lunch in the foyer at home. As I was dropping her off she got so worried about it, it made me so upset that something I had overlooked was upsetting her. I assured her I was going straight home to get it and as I said goodbye, I got all teary. ..

I don't think Superwoman would do that....

My Little Man and Our Fostering Journey

Looking back on the last several posts I see that the majority of my pictures are of Little Miss. I assume that is simply because Bobo is so hard to photograph. He doesn't look when I tell him, he doesn't hold still, or smile on cue... of course its easier to take pictures of a 4 year old than a 14 month old! Alas, it certainly isn't good to have a lack of pictures of my little guy, so I took some this morning. Here are some that were my favorites!

The quality on this one isn't that great, but I love the expression on his face :)

Now, I was thinking about our fostering journey and how I haven't updated the blog as far as where we stand. Our home study caseworker was out of town so it took some time for her to get in contact with us. We have our official walk through and first meeting with her on Saturday. We are excited but nervous. Then she will come and interview the kids and me and then Dave will stop in at Catholic Charities (since it is right by his work) and do his interview there. The caseworker did say that SAHM's are the easiest since you can tackle them and the kids at the same time and she perked right up to learn Dave could just stop by - got her out of making two trips out to our house, which is about 45 minutes each way. She said that moved us up her list.

So that is how things are going with that. We hope to have all of this taken care of by the time we leave for Disney (WOO HOO September 13th!) so that we can come home and get our first placements!

"But you already have two kids..."

Woo Hoo! We finished our final PRIDE class on Tuesday. We have a CPR/First Aid and Medication Handling class on Saturday, but that is a separate thing. We are turning in all of our final paperwork and PRIDE homework on Saturday so that will finish up our file and we can schedule our homestudy. I am a bit worried about that. I don't really know what to expect. I am sure it will be fine, we don't live in a slum and our house should be up to code since its only 2 years old, but still, anytime you have someone going through all of your personal information and belongings it tends to make you feel violated. I hear that there really isn't any question they won't/can't ask so that should make this interesting!

Its weird, as we go through this process, the things we have learned and the way things have changed. We had originally wanted to foster with eventually adopting, but now we want to adopt as soon as we can. Its weird, thinking about it, but I feel like someone else it out there raising my children. Which they are, and I feel like there are specific children that are out there that are meant for me, and that right now someone else is caring for them... or not caring for them. Being that I am typically a parinod and controlling person when it comes to my children, it makes me fear for them about whatever is going to happen or has happened to them that will land them into foster care.

Now to explain the title. It seems that the typical response we are getting when talking about adoption is "but you already have two kids...." or some variety of that. Its like President Obama put a limit on how many kids we can all have and I didn't get the memo. If I was having another baby I don't think people would react like that. Or maybe not as many.

Another thing that is already striking me as odd are peoples expressions when I tell them HOW we are adopting. We were at my kid's peds office and my doctors office getting our TB tests done (part of the process) when I said we were adopting, both offices' nurses/doctors asked from where (meaning a country) when I told them the foster care system they looked perplexed. It is kind of disheartening. I wish more people were aware of the amount of homeless and foster children there are in most places. Now, I applaud those who adopt abroad, that is fantastic, any form of adoption is, however I feel that there are so many children here in our own area that need a home too and people just don't know or don't care! I know the children I will adopt (yes children, we want to adopt two) will come with their own type of baggage and that baggage isn't as obvious when you adopt a newborn (but it IS still there) but does that make these kids any less deserving of a good, warm, loving home?

These are just a few of the things that we have encountered already in our journey. I can't wait to see what happens when we actually have placements :)

PRIDE Classes

I think I am acutally going to come out of these classes learning quite a bit! One of our assigments was to do a "genogram" I hadn't ever heard of it, but apparently its a real thing! Here is a sample of one. Mine of course has names, and then birth and death dates and places.

We have another class tomorrow, I am acutally looking forward to it :) Just not the drive downtown in rush hour traffic :)

Its interesting the things you find out. I had no idea my grandfather was born in North Dakota. I just figured he was from Michigan like the rest of my family on that side. My mathernal Grandmother was a huge help :) She gave me all the information I needed on my mom and dad's side and I called my step-dad for the info on his side.

On a side note - my dad died when I was 12, so when I write refering to my "dad" most likely I am talking about my step-dad who has been in my life since I was 9... but around here he is mostly refered to as PaPa :)

PRIDE Classes

Last night we started our first of 8 PRIDE classes (Parent Resource for Information Development Education). I can tell already this is going to be an interesting journey through this process. Just as of last night, I can see that my thoughts and feelings and expectations are changing. For instance, I had subconciously vilified the birth parents of the kids in foster care. Now I can see that there are so many reasons and circumstances that lead up to a person's children being taken into custody.

I can't remember if I said this before, but we do plan to adopt a child at some point in our journey through fostering. We had planned to adopt younger than Little Miss, but now we are thinking that this child that we add to our family may not necessarily have to fit into this little box we have planned for them. I think if we keep an open mind (which the trainer encourages) we could come out adopting a child that is completely different than what we had planned and they could be a perfect for for our family.

My biggest fear, and really one of my only fears, is how I will cope when it is time to send the child home. I know that is a big reason why alot of people won't foster. I simply don't feel that the loss that I will experience is grave enough that I shouldn't offer my love and care for a child in their time of need. I CAN make a difference and I am willing to sacrifice my comfort for them.

I do also want to say thanks to all of those who are supporting us in this decision and those who have donated so many things to us already to help us prepare for these children!

Becoming Foster Parents

DH and I are starting the process to become foster parents.

"What?? You already have two kids!!"

Uhh...yes we do ... we're aware :)

I wanted to share this process as we go from "Two Monkeys" to.. well, "More Monkeys" :)

Alot of people have asked why we have chosen to foster. The idea came to us in the form of a 16 year old girl named Amanda (not to be confused with my BFF Amanda) She was a cheerleader that I coached back in 2004. She was born to teenage parents and had been bounced around from house to house and it really had an effect on her. After a bad time with her Aunt she came to live with us before they could place her with her Grandmother. She lived with us for about a month.

During that time, we gained some experience with caseworkers, government hassle, but most importantly, having the chance to make a difference in a child's life.

This process is long, and can sometimes be grueling, but we are very excited to start this journey.

Look for updates :)